lundi, avril 27, 2009

Subway to Heaven

Dear friends,

This blog has been existing for a long time now. I've posted stuff now and then, but everything in German.

As I have pals and friends all over the world and some of them seemed quite interested in what I experience in life and with God, I decided to let this blog go English!

There are a lot of things going on in my life right now, and I'll let you know the first part...

Actually, everything started years ago. I was working full-time for an amazing festival in Germany called Freakstock and was working for Jesus Freaks International.

I had a small amount of money for a living, not because the Jesus Freaks are greedy, but because we had not a lot of money. Suddenly I had got fed up with this lifestyle and decided to leave Germany to go back to Switzerland. I told God I wanted a normal job, with good money and a better life-standing.

So I got it. A big American company hired me as a customer representative in three languages (French, German, English), I made good money, could buy stuff I never owned in my whole life (for the first time my own computer! Woohoo! I LOOOVE my Mac Book Pro) but the job was crazy, the company was crazy (capitalism über alles!) and after two years I landed in a big burnout. I was on sick leave and then decided to resign from my position. I was feeling good at home and didn't know what the future would be about.

My relationship with God had lost a lot of intensivity, I understood that I was missing visiting and supporting churches. But I didn't want to give up whatever I had afforded in two years (fuck consumerism!). Well.

Then, through strange circumstances, I met a friend of mine who's a missionary in Mozambic. I've known her for a long time, she had been my leader as I was living in Nuremberg, Germany.
She asked me how I was doing and I told her that I finally felt at home in my city (Neuchâtel, Switzerland) and that I wanted to stay there and not go away anymore.

She started laughing and said: "Haha, forget it! Your apostolic heart will soon wake up and you will go away. Soon!"

Somehow I was thinking "F**k, she may be right! I don't want that". I was feeling inside of me that God was talking. But I'm shy and easily scared, so I landed into panic.

A few days afterwards I went to Wroclaw, Poland, to the probably best festival in the world, called Slot Festival (www.slot.art.pl). There, we had daily meetings with leaders of underground projects and churches from all over Europe and I felt at home. The dreams I had buried deep in my heart were coming back to life.

I also met a girl there from the Subchurch (Oslo, Norway) who then became my girlfriend. In the summer and then in the fall, I went to Oslo and spent great times there. I had lots of things going on and inner fights with myself and God's calling. I was considering moving to Oslo (greatest city in the world ;-) with one of the greatest churches in the world ) but wasn't really sure. Unfortunately, the relationship didn't work out so we decided to be just friends. But I still wanted to move away from Switzerland. Something strong was moving inside of me and I couldn't stop it. I was needing a church, a strong church where I could just be myself and get support for whatever I would do.

Months went by and it was a pretty tough time for me. I was depressed, unemployed, was feeling very lonely and was praying about the future. I had dreams, but they couldn't get true (so did I think).

An older, wiser friend of mine wrote me a short message to tell me one sentence he got from God for me: "Flee, my beloved". I knew God was speaking. I didn't know what to do and was scared to death.

A few months ago, I went to eat with one of my closest friends and he told me that he had thought a lot about me and my life. He asked me how long I would need to finally accept that I would never get happy with a 9 to 5 job in whatever company, but that I should follow God's calling on my life. He told me that God told him to give me the tenth of his salary for three months in case I would decide to leave everything behind and go away to build the Kingdom.

It made me feel uncomfortable and I had to think about it. At home, I made a calculation of how much money I would need per month in order to pay my mandatory health-insurance, my taxes, a place to rent to put my stuff in, money for train tickets (I don't have a driving license) and food.
I told God that I refused to go away and live "by faith", without any money. Because I had already tried it out and I almost ended in jail because of unpaid bills. I told Him that if people would give me the amount of money I calculated I would need to survive, I would do it and try it out for three months and then see what would happen.

As I was thinking about it and was feeling panicked, I got a phone call from a girl from Germany I had heard nothing from the last two years. She told me that she didn't know what was happening in my life, but God had given her something to tell me: "Mik, the time of building tents to survive (Paul's occupation) is over for you. God calls you as an apostle, in full-time ministry. And the time has come for you to start. Go away and start. Find an Antioch where you can have a base and be the apostle I anointed you to be". It made me very confused.

I asked God for confirmation.

Two weeks later, a German woman I had heard nothing of in three years called. She said that she had been praying for me and that God had spoken to her, telling her that I'm an apostle, and that the Lord calls me to serve him full-time, and that He would give me a base to start traveling, a base where people would support me and set me free for my service. She told other things that answered a lot of questions, without me asking any questions. I was amazed because the Holy Spirit's presence was so intense as she was speaking... I almost started crying.

I was choked and still told God that I was missing 300€ (500$) a month to start my "ministry".

Then I got an email from a woman I don't know that well, and she told me the same... That God had showed her that times of frustration were over because He sends me now in an apostolic ministry and she told me that God had told her to give me a part of her "God's money" if I decided to obey and go away.

I couldn't believe what I was reading. I had asked nobody for money...

So I calculated that 1000€ (1500$) were missing for my three-months budget. I told God that, as a sign, if He would give me the money, I would sign off my appartment and leave this summer.

A few days after this prayer, I met a friend of mine and she gave me an envelope with 1000€ inside, telling me that God had told her to give me this amount of money. Crazy, crazy...

So on the next day I signed off my appartment for the end of June.

I'm scared to death but I think God has spoken... So many coincidences are just impossible.

Crazy story, isn't it?

I will be homeless again soon, with a backpack and a laptop. Too bad I don't have a car, but God will provide, I'm sure.

I have enough money to survive three months long... What comes afterwards is a mystery...

But I would definitely love to visit your groups. I don't have much to give, but I would love to hear your stories, pray with you, share what God put on my heart and support you however I can. It's really what my heart is burning for.

If you want me to visit you, please write me an email: 731k3z3[at]gmail.com or let me a comment here with a way to get in touch with you...

God bless!

Mik

3 commentaires:

Anonyme a dit…

Hi Mik!

Thanks for the news.

Come over to the States!

Chimù from Colorado

Jocky a dit…

Great fun reading this. You never win running away from God.
Glad you're back on the path. Looking forward to see how God's moving in your life! Hope to see you soon :)

It's a dangerous business going out your door.
You step onto the road and if you don't keep your feet
There's no knowing were you might be swept off to
Bilbo Baggins

Anonyme a dit…

Hem you didn't tell the story right..
I mean for your friend giving you 1'000 € :D

But, anyway we don't care :) I remember this day fighting against God and i'm happy I've lost the battle once more!... money.. you can live a long time not using it and then you decide to give it and suddenly a millions of desires come into your mind and you have to struggle to find what's good to do!

I know I made the good decision!

I won't say mmy name, you know perfectly who i am (and if not you're a fucking bastard :D )